It’s weird to think about now, but the first time the idea of moving to LA entered my mind was in high school. Amongst my ever-changing list of college aspirations, including NYU and Tulane, USC had appeared. I knew little about it at the time except that it was a large school with a lot of school spirit and it was in a warm city – all boxes I wanted to check off in my search. California seemed a bit like a mystical place of sun and beauty, one I had only ever seen on TV. The allure was short-lived though as my mom quickly assured me I would not be allowed to go to school so far away. I don’t remember being too upset about it; even then I seemed to know someday, I would see for myself.
As I moved through my life and began my career, California remained on my list of places I would one day live. In 2014, an opportunity finally arose, though in NorCal, a job I was really excited about. Despite not being as sure about the northern region as I was of the sunny south, I thought, “What’s not to like about California?” As it turns out, there are a number of things! So, I found myself once again drawn to a life in the Southland, where I had also begun to amass quite a few friends. I spent much of my time living in NorCal driving down to LA to visit them; the trek down the 5 freeway became a familiar jaunt. While I met some amazing people in the Bay Area, overall it was quite a difficult experience. Trials and tribulations to review another day, but it ultimately became desperately clear that I was not in the right place. The sheer number of cars that hit me (both my vehicle and my person) seemed to be messages from the universe telling me to “Get out!” Who am I to not heed such an ardent, if not life-threatening, warning?
In 2017, I came to the decision that I was moving to LA. Period. I did not wait to secure a new job before turning in my notice to my old one, after several spreadsheets and calculations, of course. I knew it was a risk, but I also knew it was the right one. Many people speak with amazement at the finality of my decision-making. My “no” is categorical, but so too is my “yes.” Sure enough, about a month before my move, job offers were plentiful and I started a new chapter with gusto.
Four years is the longest I’ve lived in any one place since the five I spent in Miami, if we include my college years. I always called Miami “home” when I was there and frankly, for a while after. “Miami” even became my nickname with some family members for a time (now it’s California). This indescribable feeling of relief and joy would wash over me as the plane prepared to touch down and I saw the first tips of palm trees appear through the window. As much as I loved my time in Miami, it pales in comparison really to what I’ve lived in Los Angeles. It may be due to a combination of where I am in my life and what I have been able to build over time: skills and accomplishments professionally, maturity and wisdom, along with the sheer power of community I’m lucky enough to call mine. Despite the traffic and the high costs, you can’t put a price on sun, beaches, humidity-free warmth and a group of people who challenge, inspire and support you all in one place.
When I think of what I would miss most about LA, the top of the list consists generally of humans. The indescribable feeling I get when I’m in Los Angeles is one of belonging. (And let’s be clear, that definitely doesn’t hit until after I’ve cleared out of LAX – insert eye roll here).
But you can’t cage a wandering spirit, one hungry to see and explore. So I had to make a choice because nothing lasts forever anyway. My friends are making their own decisions in support of their journeys too, so the garden of the “before time” will never again be the same. The pandemic took so much from so many of us; yet, it’s also giving us an opportunity to rebuild and renew. After darkness, there is light; after winter, there is always spring. My spring consists of growing seeds old and new, tending to those that sprout, and feeding the blossoms waiting for “home” to strike me again. Unlike lightning, it may strike in the same place twice. Watching the clouds become shrouded in pink with the sunrise as I glide out of town, I say “Until then, see you later, LA.”
Photos: Top – sunset on Venice beach when I arrived in LA in 2017. Bottom – Fresh-faced in my first days in LA.
Fluent Wandering 
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