Fluent Wandering is meant to capture a Black woman’s journey to connect with her authentic self. I have no set goal other than to embrace and engage in the experiences and people I find along the way though I hope that readers find joy, laughter and take-aways from my signature candor in whatever way feels genuine to them. I have no idea how long this journey will take, or if one ever really completes it, but I feel I’ll know once I’ve reached a point of comfort in my own skin that I did not experience before.
Prior to deciding to grab risk and the unknown with both hands, I lived my life generally following my gut though still within the confines of what mainstream society deemed normal, and what the industry and institutions for which I worked deemed necessary or acceptable. I formally reject all of that now. I choose to live in service to my soul and from that I know that not only will I reap great rewards, but so will everyone with whom I come into contact. Already, I have been struck by the impact of simply voicing and claiming my decision. Let it be known that we all deserve such an opportunity for freedom, especially women of color, and especially Black women. Sisters, for you in particular, welcome and I’m rooting for you!
About a year ago, as I came face-to-face with about as much as I could physically and emotionally carry, I took the first step in shedding unhealthy habits and environments. With the additional weight of the world feeling near a breaking point in June of 2020, I wrote the first poem I had written in a long while. My starting place and a marker of what is to come:
wings cut from cloth
Do you know how many times
in a Black woman’s life
she’s accused of being angry
when she just has something to say?
Accused of being aggressive
because she didn’t say it the right way
because she didn’t agree or acquiesce
because she had ideas or feedback
because she said not today.
It’s so many times
I tell you
that the only thing she learns:
It doesn’t matter what she feels
her worth yields no capital here
Do you know how many times
in a Black woman’s life
she is ignored?
No matter what she brings to the table
even if she brings the table
shoulders it with her ancestors’ strife
with their inner strength and might
carries it with the needs of others
since the time of the enslaved
with society pressing ever down
and barriers placed in her way
So many times
I promise you
that she questions her own mind
that she has to find herself again
that she grows accustomed to crying
She has to name and claim her power
She has to build and revive her voice
to embrace the humanity others care not to see
to demand space, value and dignity.
~ Gabrielle Dorsey
Fluent Wandering 