“Welcome to your new life.” That’s how I started my first journal entry on the road up the Pacific Coast Highway (or PCH as we say on the west coast). I chose a brief stop at a beach in Malibu on the first day, which had become my second home. Quiet and unassuming, I retreated here often during the pandemic to collect my thoughts and soothe my nerves the way only the sun and waves can. It seemed only appropriate to begin my trip, and essentially this entire new journey, with such a grounding location.
For those hungry for the itinerary “deets,” you’ll find them at the bottom of this post, complete with suggestions should you find yourself wandering along the 1 someday soon.
It wasn’t long into the road trip before I found myself at a peaceful winery somewhere in the rolling hills outside of San Luis Obispo on a sunny day. Wineries became synonymous with time for reflection amongst my adventuring and this coastal venture was among the most relaxing and joyous I’ve taken yet. For the first time since college, my journal lives in my purse. I pull it out to document whatever thoughts may formulate while I move through the world with eyes wide for discovery. I already see myself in a new light.
Blackness has long been synonymous with chains in this country, real and metaphorical. Restrictions, assumptions, accusations, the list goes on. I found that pushing against them still allowed their weight to bounce back upon me, whether it grabbed on abruptly or slowly crawled. I allowed myself to live within the confines of expectations even while I rejected them. I had to really; I wasn’t born into wealth so some practicality had to come into play. Now, I feel blessed that that hard work has led to the ability to taste life as if it were truly mine to shape. I don’t need to actively fight as much but rather choose myself – my health, my joy, my dreams.
For all my ideas, once I launched this site and finally launched the physical portion of my journey, I had to step back and reevaluate what I wanted this blog to truly be about. The travel, yes, but it’s more isn’t it? It’s time alone to ruminate on experience, thoughts and embrace the lightness that comes with that space. It’s the independence, the sharing, the inspiration I’ve been told I’m already giving. Ultimately, I want to find my home. Home isn’t where you lay your head necessarily. It’s where your thoughts rest, where your worries dissipate, where you can set aside assigned identities and simply exist as you. “Home” can move. Though I didn’t really know how to articulate it until now, I’ve always found it curious to believe that home is just one place – or even necessarily a place at all versus simply a state of being, a state of unapologetic existence. I promise to balance my existential thoughts, life conclusions, and the like with actual trip details and my usual unsolicited observations of course (sorry and you’re welcome).
As I prepare to turn 36 tomorrow, I know this next lap around the sun will be unlike any other. I want to see what I can discover in my own skin, own my joy, discover what I really need, what I can leave behind, and build a future of my own design. As humans, I think we often look for a place to fit into the world instead of creating or building a space for ourselves. We accept what we believe we have to. I once thought it took courage to break out of that cycle and it does, because it’s certainly a risk, but more importantly, it takes bold and radical self-acceptance. It takes an unwillingness to sacrifice all of you for something that doesn’t serve you. It takes moving through anger and frustration; it takes feeling rejected, disrespected and ignored. It takes failure and it takes intention. Intention is what I’m leading with now and it’s intention that will guide and ground me through new challenges and be my compass to navigate my own course. People will want you to stay in your lane, but for marginalized groups in particular, those lanes are often assigned to you and usually rooted in complete bullshit. Reject it. Build a new road in the direction you want to go, for now (I know mine will be a windy one), and get going. Add a little *toot toot* on that horn for them haters!
PCH Route & Standout Recs:
- Carpinteria
- Pismo Beach
- Eat at Ada’s Fish House!
- San Luis Obispo
- Cambria
- Elephant seals – what a funny bunch they are
- The locals swore me to secrecy but if you can get to Sea Chest Oyster Bar, you won’t regret it! Beware: Dinner only, cash only and limited days open
- San Simeon
- Hearst Ranch Winery – an ocean view!
- Big Sur
- McWay Falls
- Nepenthe to nosh – try the Elderflower Spritz and of course, the burger
- Carmel
- Monterey
- Finally made it to the Monterey Bay Aquarium!
- Santa Cruz
- Half Moon Bay
- Marin County with a Berkeley detour
- Paso Robles
- San Antonio Winery – tasty tacos and a delicious “Afternoon Delight” flight hit the spot for lunch
PS – If you’re looking for a way to help me celebrate my birthday this year, please consider a donation to the non-profit, Shero’s Rise – the next generation of girls deserves to discover their worth sooner and reach greater heights. Let’s lift them up together – thank you for spreading the word!
Photos: Top – Room view at Inn at the Cove, Bottom – Random road stop near Cambria
Fluent Wandering 
“Home” can move” … I love that sentiment. That’s a good mantra for folks feeling stuck.
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